SOFTNESS AS STRENGTH IN MENOPAUSE

Stela Nicol
Jul 24, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Sep 10, 2025

There was a moment not long ago when I thought, “𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵! 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭-𝘰𝘯.”

Eight months. No period. Hot flashes. Brain fog. A strange mix of exhaustion and emotional static.

Eventually, the hot flushes calmed down. The fog lifted.

And I started to embrace this new present, not with resistance, but with curiosity.

But then last week… it came back.

My cycle returned. And to say I was confused and 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 would be an understatement.

The next day, I went to strength training, and everything felt normal until the 4th set. Suddenly, my whole body started shaking. I had to stop, get salt, and lie down with my legs up. 𝗜𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁-𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱.

𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩? Was the stress of “both worlds” period 𝘢𝘯𝘥 perimenopause, too much? 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦’𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥, 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴?

My gynaecologist reminded me:

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹. 𝗢𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳𝗳. 𝗔 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗔 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.

It made me reflect on how easy it is to assume everything’s “back to normal” just because one part returns.

To rush. To override. To push through instead of listening.

So many of us are taught how to be 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁.

But not how to be 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁.

To pause.

"𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵!" We even have a saying in Bulgaria: “I’ll rest when I die.”

To listen to the quiet signs.

"𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦, No time for this luxury?"

To honour what our body is trying to say.

Looking back, I now realize: "𝘖𝘩, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩."

Stress. Fatigue. Shifting hormones.

They speak in whispers before they scream.

What changed for me wasn’t just what was happening physically. It was how my body put me in my place and made me pause. Forced me to go back to basics.

Moving slower: Walks instead of strength training, with music that soothes rather than pushes. A lesson (re)learned, let’s see for how long. 😁
Eating with intention: More grounding, warm meals.
Listening more: Paying attention to how I feel these days after workouts, meals, social events, and even certain conversations.
Resting with purpose: two short meditations, journaling after meals and movement, and saying yes to a good old-fashioned book, some soft candlelight before bed.

I started prioritizing 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝗲.

Not as the absence of effort, but as the 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

Ease comes from 𝘀𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 long enough to 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭, to 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦, to 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦 with 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆.

From building routines that support my 𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺, not just my 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳.

From making space to 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 what I truly 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, not what I should be doing.

And somehow, I felt stronger, because I softened into it.

🌿 Everglow Vitality was born from this exact space. The space between the old stories of strength… And the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥, 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙙.

There’s so much more to this chapter than “eat well, move with intention, good quality sleep, rest.”

I'd say

Softness.

Support.

Space.

Uplifting company.

And most of all, permission from ourselves to honour our own pace. ♥

The Bigger Picture

Perimenopause is often described as a transition, not a switch. It’s not simply “done” when your period pauses for months. Hormones fluctuate, symptoms ebb and flow, and the body can surprise you.

Research Shows Lifestyle Matters

Science isn’t just nodding to lifestyle; it's giving it a standing ovation. One randomized controlled trial published in Maturitas found that aerobic exercise combined with nutrition education significantly improves quality of life and reduces psychological symptoms in middle-aged women navigating menopause (study link)

Another study, from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, identified how more than four hours of sedentary time per day significantly raises central obesity risk for peri- and post-menopausal women, while eating five servings of fruits and vegetables daily offers a protective effect for pre-menopausal women. (study link)

Across Cultures, a Different Story

Menopause isn’t experienced the same way everywhere. Research comparing Japan, Canada, and the US shows that Japanese women report significantly fewer hot flashes and night sweats than women in North America. They also experience lower rates of heart disease, breast cancer, and osteoporosis, suggesting that cultural and biological factors together shape how menopause is lived.

This perspective matters: it shows menopause isn’t just a biological process, but one potentially influenced by lifestyle, diet, and cultural narratives.

Another layer comes from a broader bio-psycho-socio-cultural perspective: in many non-Western cultures, menopause isn’t pathologized. Women in these societies often experience fewer symptoms and view this life stage more neutrally, possibly due to differing attitudes, stress levels, or daily rhythms.

Together, these findings remind us that menopause isn’t just a medical event; it’s part of how culture, lifestyle, and meaning shape our lives.

So, if you are in menopause or approaching it, embrace it as just that: a transition.

A dance.

A chance to rewrite the rules of strength.

Softness isn’t weakness.

It’s wisdom.

It’s power.

It’s permission to honor your pace and thrive.

Notice the whispers before they turn into screams.

Choose softness.

And discover how strong you truly are.

Wellness "Wisdom", Continued ...

If one day you feel like you need support or want to explore building a healthier relationship with food, let’s have a chat and work through it together!

The information provided in this post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as medical advice or a substitute for professional consultation. Please consult a healthcare provider before making any significant changes to your diet, exercise, or wellness routine to ensure they align with your individual needs and circumstances.